The LOL Corner
This regular news article promises to make you giggle, chortle, and laugh your ass off.
Every edition will feature a collection of the funniest chat network quotes.
dAmnIt! is a database of funny quotes submitted by deviants like you.
dAmnIt! has reached over 33,000 quotes!
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<SteveO526> So... anybody wanna know how Koolaid is made?
<mackattack23> SteveO526: Sure why not
<SteveO526> mackattack23: Um... you mix... powder... in some water... and stir it.
<mackattack23> SteveO526: ...
<SteveO526> mackattack23: Tada?
<mackattack23> you son of a betch
** SteveO526 was kicked by mackattack23 *
<duststorm10>I love people who claim to be intelligent.
<duststorm10>80% of the time, they're just dumbasses with big words.
06:47:35 PM <ahollowvoice> This much affection from Chris is alarming.
06:47:43 PM <awhisperoflight> you have no idea
06:47:43 PM <ahollowvoice> Like Gulf of Mexico alarming.
06:47:55 PM <ahollowvoice> They had better fix that shit.
06:47:56 PM <ahollowvoice> ASAP.
06:48:43 PM <cloakofshadow> so, my showing affection is akin to a endless torrent of black sludge that kills drowns and destroys ecosystems?
06:48:52 PM <flyinghamsterofdoom> Pretty much.
06:48:52 PM <awhisperoflight> essentially.
<Torr-Ture> Well, speaking as an intellectual, I wholeheartedly believe that paperclips are the larval stages of wire coat hangers.
21:18:02 <rogueconformist> How many oms could an om nom nom if an om nom could om noms?
21:18:31 <anjules> It would om what an om nom would om nom if an om nom would om nom
21:18:34 <rogueconformist> Deep shit, man, deep shit.
21:18:35 <OpalMist> As many as an om nom could om nom if an om nom could on DAMNIT
18:14:00 <shadowaurora> I like the little zap you get if you lick them at the same time.
18:14:07 <shadowaurora> I used to do that all the time
18:14:13 <shadowaurora> I remember. I was 7
18:14:15 <shadowaurora> standing in my kitchen
18:14:20 <shadowaurora> raiding the drawers for 9v batteries's
18:14:24 <shadowaurora> might explain why I'm so fucked up now
18:14:30 <shadowaurora> "What did you do as a child?"
18:14:35 <shadowaurora> "I LICKED BATTERIES LOL"
09:00:22 PM <Afghanistan-kun> I DON'T WANT ANOTHER PRETTY FACE
09:00:26 PM <AmericaLikesBurgers> LIKE A BOSS
09:00:27 PM <Afghanistan-kun> I DON'T WANT JUST ANYONE TO HOLD
09:00:28 PM <AmericaLikesBurgers> LIKE A BOSS
09:00:39 PM <Afghanistan-kun> I DON'T WANT MY LOVE TO GO TO WASTE
09:00:41 PM <AmericaLikesBurgers> LIKE A BOSS
09:00:46 PM <Afghanistan-kun> I WANT YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL SOUL
09:00:47 PM <AmericaLikesBurgers> LIKE A BOSS
09:00:53 PM <Afghanistan-kun> SO YOU'RE THE ONE I WANNA CHASE
09:00:55 PM <AmericaLikesBurgers> LIKE A BOSS
09:00:56 PM <Afghanistan-kun> YOU'RE THE ONE I WANNA HOLD
09:00:58 PM <AmericaLikesBurgers> LIKE A BOSS
09:01:07 PM <Afghanistan-kun> I WON'T LET ANOTHER MINUTE GO TO WASTE
09:01:08 PM <AmericaLikesBurgers> LIKE A BOSS
09:01:12 PM <Afghanistan-kun> I WANT YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL SOULLL
09:01:13 PM <AmericaLikesBurgers> LIKE A BOSS
09:01:15 PM <Afghanistan-kun> YOUR BEAUTIFUL SOUL
09:01:17 PM <AmericaLikesBurgers> LIKE A BOSS
09:01:18 PM <Afghanistan-kun> YEAAAAHHHH
09:01:19 PM <AmericaLikesBurgers> LIKE A BOSS
09:01:21 PM <Afghanistan-kun> YOU MIGHT
09:01:22 PM <AmericaLikesBurgers> LIKE A BOSS
09:01:24 PM <Afghanistan-kun> NEED TIME
09:01:25 PM <AmericaLikesBurgers> LIKE A BOSS
09:01:27 PM <Afghanistan-kun> TO THINK IT OVER
09:01:28 PM <AmericaLikesBurgers> LIKE A BOSS
09:01:30 PM <Afghanistan-kun> BUT I--
09:01:34 PM <AmericaLikesBurgers> LIKE A -
09:01:34 PM * Afghanistan-kun burst out in laughter
11:40:15 PM <Druology> omg
11:40:28 PM <Druology> i was peeing
11:40:33 PM <Druology> and a spider descended in front of me
11:40:38 PM <Druology> and i was like omg it's gonna fall on my dick
11:40:41 PM <Druology> so i spazzed
11:40:43 PM <Druology> and i peed on my wall D:
11:42:48 PM <Ljelli3166> that's literally the best story i've ever heard
<icantfaptothisplz>cyn3r4345: Shh, no words, just emotions.
<cyn3r4345>icantfaptothisplz: that was only a question mark
<icantfaptothisplz>cyn3r4345: Shh. No pointing out flaws in my logic, just emotions.
<Zakanakai> TEST ME
<Zakanakai> I CAN FIT IT IN ANYWHERE
<Rainbow-Mist-Topaz> Zakanakai: ...You know
<Rainbow-Mist-Topaz> Zakanakai: Taken out of context...
<Zakanakai> OH GOD
<Zakanakai> NOT LIKE THAT
<Zakanakai> I GOT OVER THAT FETISH
18:32:53 <IAmPhoenixMoth> No child is safe so long as Godliek walks the streets.
18:33:05 <Godliek> IAmPhoenixMoth: I don't walk streets, I google earth them.
<TomCamui> ive only known her 4 bouts..... 2 months and ima gonna propose 2 her sometime soon
<leaf-lover> don't you think that's a bit early TomCamui
<TomCamui> yeah, but, she's the only person who ive really found super attractive
<PotHeadJesus> I find your mother very attractive
<PotHeadJesus> I'm not going to marry her
04:12:23 PM <Teniku> my mom is using sexual innuendo while eating a popsicle
04:12:25 PM <Teniku> i gagged
04:12:30 PM <tunamint> so did she
04:12:37 PM <Teniku> LOL
<thederangedone>OmegaGirl123: needs moar question marks
<OmegaGirl123>lol ok huh??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
<thederangedone>OmegaGirl123: needs moar understanding of sarcasm
07:13:11 PM <shadowdemon-gengar> Beef-Ass: You know everything you do turns me on. Don't be modest.
07:13:14 PM * anguspie can stick velcro to his chest hair XD
07:13:25 PM <shadowdemon-gengar> ... 'Cept that.
<BBallGirl2009>I learned something today.... There are just somethings you don't expect, like seeing this magical fluffy unicorn prancing through a lovely field of singing flowers and all of a sudden it stops to eat a bunny....
** TheDarkChildOfSatan has left
<HaliPHAX-404> exorcism done!
01:06:05 AM <Xeraki> guys
01:06:12 AM <Xeraki> why do acrylic paints have to be so stuborn?
01:06:56 AM <Anavar> because they enjoy messing with your head
01:07:00 AM <HuggleButt> because they are not water soluble when they are dry
01:07:05 AM <theblackbutterfly> because paint is naturally vindictive and evil
01:07:22 AM <Xeraki> those all sound like very good answers
01:07:27 AM <Xeraki> thank you
01:07:31 AM <theblackbutterfly> xD
01:07:46 AM <Xeraki> i shall go kill acrylics now brb
01:08:13 AM <Anavar> make sure you get them all, so they don't come back for revenge while you're sleeping
<snurtz> omg you know what is sad
<snurtz> "lol" used to mean "laughing out loud"
<snurtz> now it's kind of more like "um"
<snurtz> so if something is actually funny you have to type "LOL"
<snurtz> and if it actually makes you lol
<snurtz> you have to say ROFL
<zume> pretty much
<snurtz> when in reality you are not rofl. you are just kinda... chuckling
<snurtz> so if you actually were rofling what would you say
<snurtz> i would say something like
<zume> ROFL is becoming fairly normal, too. we need a new, shorter acronym
<Anavar> lol is vaguely funny, lmao is actual lol, rofl is actual lmao, and roflmao is roflmao
<Anavar> the power of inflation
<snurtz> even the internet slang has gone up in price
<Ichigo-Uchiha> I learned something today.
<PearlDolphin> What was it?
<Ichigo-Uchiha> Do not throw your laptop volume up to max and start screaming the lyrics to "Faggot" by Mindless Self Indulgence at 1 AM. Especially if your parents are asleep.
<EmperorDinobot> i hate cats
** catluvr2 has joined
<EmperorDinobot> dun dun