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The LOL Corner
This regular news article promises to make you giggle, chortle, and laugh your ass off.
Every edition will feature a collection of the funniest chat network quotes.
dAmnIt! is a database of funny quotes submitted by deviants like you.
dAmnIt! has reached over 32,000 quotes!
When something funny happens in a chatroom, share it with everyone! It only takes a few clicks, and while you're there browse through all the other hilarious quotes!
Feel free to note me with suggested dAmnIt! quotes to go into the next edition. Please make sure that the quote has already been submitted and approved to dAmnIt! and that you give me the quote number in your note.
The Last 10 Editions:
One Year Special Edition
Stamp Contest Special Edition
Edition Seventy-Nine
Edition Eighty
Edition Eighty-One
Edition Eighty-Two
Edition Eighty-Three
Edition Eighty-Four
Edition Eighty-Five
Edition Eighty-Six
Edition Eighty-Seven
Edition Eighty-Eight
The Link
Above each quote you can find a link to the quote. This will show you who submitted the quote and give you the opportunity to it if you enjoyed it, a newer feature to dAmnit!. It also makes it easier to share quotes with friends.
The Quotes
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<KristenSpork> ogawd
<KristenSpork> it...
<KristenSpork> it leaked out
<KristenSpork> ogawd
<KristenSpork> brb
<Nirach> I'm sorry
<Nirach> But out of context
<Nirach> That is absolutely filthy.
<KristenSpork> ...
<KristenSpork> Err.
<KristenSpork> My... food.
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09:16:08 PM <Roaring-Wind> What do you think is the HOLY FUCKING SHIT CAT GET OUT OUT OF THE DAMN WINDOW
09:16:19 PM <Roaring-Wind> cutest pokemon?
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08:31:46 PM ** docman300 has joined
08:31:46 PM <Deidara-chanBot> "Well, hello there, docman300... would you like some candy?"
08:31:46 PM ** docman300 has left [connection closed]
08:32:07 PM <Buremerusensei> he came and left all in the same second
08:32:53 PM <Buremerusensei> AND THAT, CHILDREN, IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF PEDOBEAR SCARING OFF WHAT WE CALL A NOOB
08:33:04 PM <Buremerusensei> CHATROOM SAFARIS ARE FUN, HUH?
08:33:12 PM <cresent-lunette> LOL.
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08:34:50 PM <LadyHazy> I smell epicness in the air.
08:35:21 PM <TheHWord> excuse me. *blushes*
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<codeboy> LostTempest: it's not about the quality
<codeboy> LostTempest: it's about the damage
<duststorm10> Sounds like rough sex.
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<Lellean> silentminja: No it's tender alright.. I like it pink inside but i dont like it juicy so the blood runs all over
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<GozenreijiNeko>demondog-ninja: ┌∩┐(◕_◕)┌∩┐
<demondog-ninja>GozenreijiNeko: don't stick your tits up at me.
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<HatefulHypocrit> lady gaga should give her penis to someone who needs it. like justin bieber
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** BrassyLion has joined
<Abstract-Mindser> BrassyLion: Hello.
<BrassyLion> howdy
** BrassyLion has left [connection closed]
** Neo-Kaiser has joined
<GoThIc-PyRo> I hate when they say hi and leave.
<Neo-Kaiser> hi
** Neo-Kaiser has left [connection closed]
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<Gulivar> I have been a good little 'un this year. I sometimes let women with prams out the bus before I get on. I eat my greens and brush my teeth with kosher Colgate. Here is a list of what I want for my birthday:
<Gulivar> 1. A heat-seeking chrome-tipped nuclear missile.
<Gulivar> 2. An independent Iranian state ruled by the Nesquik rabbit.
<Gulivar> 3. For Random House to print only celebrity autobiographies until their nostrils shit nickels.
<Gulivar> 4. Advertising for third-rate films and books on every pavement and outside every building.
<Gulivar> 5. Gravy slacks and celery sneakers.
<Gulivar> 6. Penguin waiters.
<Gulivar> 7. For every celebrity author to beaten to death with a bulletproof edition of Finnegans Wake.
<Gulivar> 8. For the decimal point to come out of retirement.
<Gulivar> 9. Bum lather.
<Gulivar> That is all.
<Gulivar> I trust you will fulfil my wishes, Birthday Fairy. You have never let me down once, even when I asked for samples of Stan Laurel's urine... you were on hand with a cup and a dead slapstick actor for me.
<Gulivar> Love,
<Gulivar> Gulivar.
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<PHOTOliciousness>Do you guys have any tips on how to get a phone out of a VCR?
<Nithak>Wait what.
<AkuAoiOni>Pfft what? XD
<PHOTOliciousness>I... got a phone stuck in my VCR |D
<AkuAoiOni>... how the hell
<PHOTOliciousness>I got really bored
<PHOTOliciousness>and I mean REALLY bored.
<AkuAoiOni>And... you thought I KNOW THE VCR WILL WANT TO MAKE A CALL
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<AkuAoiOni>AND GOD SAID
<AkuAoiOni>LET THERE BE SOMEONE HERE TO ENTERTAIN ME
<AkuAoiOni>AND THERE WAS SOMEONE
** PHOTOliciousness has joined
<AkuAoiOni>AND GOD DECIDED IT WAS GOOD
<PHOTOliciousness>What?
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<TakoNoOyabun> By the way, if you were ever interested, the easiest way to make a Pikachu is to crossbreed a rabbit and a chunchilla, dye it yellow, and strap 2 tazers to it's face.
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<ObsessiveXD> He's edwarding on me
<Clue000> he got sparkly?!
<Clue000> that
<Clue000> bitch
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<DeepKick> CoCoaCup: im only 23
<DeepKick> CoCoaCup: i have the mental age of a 12 yr old
<DeepKick> CoCoaCup: and the liver of a 60 yr old
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09:05:52 AM <ihavenoorgans> like i was saying, bacon is not ham, canadian bacon however, is essentially ham
09:06:10 AM ** FluffyInDrag has joined
09:06:16 AM <ihavenoorgans> different curing process, but taken from the same area
09:06:41 AM <i-haet-mushrooms> hm
09:06:47 AM <FluffyInDrag> Bacon vs. "Canadian" bacon? Or prosciutto?
09:07:32 AM <ihavenoorgans> bacon vs canadian bacon
09:07:50 AM <ihavenoorgans> FluffyInDrag: i like how you cuaght on to that with so little context
09:08:20 AM <FluffyInDrag> I'm a foodie.
09:08:27 AM <FluffyInDrag> I know my shit, yo.
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<KrautTrooper00> Time heals all wounds.
<KrautTrooper00> Well
<KrautTrooper00> Except the ones that kill you.
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<coolhacker> My washing machine broke today.
<inkblot> Stop sitting on it during cycles, you sicko.
<coolhacker> During my cycles or its?
<inkblot> I'm gtfo this conversation.
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19:24:22 <martypunker> So earlier, I was leaving to get some groceries and I saw these two guys standing in the parking lot of the apartment complex. One of the men was clearly one of the door-to-door guys for the Census. They were standing next to a car that had its trunk open and they were both looking in and I couldn't help thinking... "Damn! They're even counting all the DEAD people!"
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16:44:29 <Roonifer> I wonder what the world record is for wiggling your nose...
16:46:37 <Roonifer> ...ARE YOU SERIOUS.
16:46:53 <Roonifer> this guy wiggled his nose for 1 minute and 24 seconds
16:46:59 <Roonifer> I can TOTALLY beat that shit.
16:47:11 <Roonifer> that's it
16:47:14 <Roonifer> i'm calling guinness
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02:58:00 PM * magmanorn stands in The Nile
02:58:08 PM * bellchild stands on magmanorn's head.
02:58:13 PM * magmanorn drowns
02:58:16 PM ** magmanorn has left
02:58:16 PM <bellchild> D:
02:58:19 PM <bellchild> ;_;
02:58:21 PM * bellchild resurrects.
02:58:24 PM ** magmanorn has joined
Book Thing
Hey guys, if you're looking for something to read, why not check out Eithe's Way by demonlight (https://www.deviantart.com/demonlight)? You can pick it up on Amazon. It's a great read. I even left a review on the American site! http://www.amazon.com/Eithes-Way-Rhian-Waller/dp/1500142085/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1406895444&sr=8-1&keywords=eithe%27s+way
And, when you've read that, you can enter into this contest for a chance to be a character in one of her stories! http://www.deviantart.com/journal/Do-you-want-to-be-in-a-story-472301323 How cool is that?
Anyway, has anyone else read a book recently they'd like to share?
Somewhat Final
I could really go into depth about all the houses we pined over and considered looking at and the pain of the fact that the bank took forever to get back to us, but I feel like jumping to the end because it won't lead you along.
We finally reached someone else at the bank and she was very nice and helpful. She gave us some good news, namely that we would be approved for more money than we originally thought. Then, she gave us bad news, namely that the wifefayse doesn't have enough credit for us to be approved for a loan and that we should work on that before considering buying a house.
So, this may sound like bad news to you, but surprising
Big House Update
So, the last journal I wrote, we were looking at a house, someone had made an offer on it, and we were going to the bank to get approved so we could make a better offer. Well, we had originally gone to the bank a couple months ago and been told we would be approved for a certain amount of money. It wasn't an official approval, but he went through all the steps of one to give us a really good estimate. Turns out it wasn't that good of an estimate, as when we went in to get officially approved, he said he couldn't do it for that amount of money.
We had to pass on the house we wanted, but right as we were coming to that decision, the house lite
Moving Quickly UPDATE
UPDATE: Realtor called me and said there was an offer on the house we want. :noes: BUT, we're still going to get pre-approved tomorrow and then make an offer ($500 more than asking) with condition of appraisal and 90 day closing. That will satisfy the bank's need of an appraisal and our need for a little bit more time to get just a few hundred dollars more for down payment (bank is covering closing costs). Crazy frantic arm waving time! Crazy frantic arm waving time!
------Original Post Below-------
The wife and I looked at houses on Saturday and we think we found one that we really like (and not just in pictures this time)! Tomorrow we're
© 2010 - 2024 martypunker
Comments138
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haha I find it halarious that the so called foodie didn't realize that bacon and canadian bacon do have the same curing but are taken from different areas. and prosciutto is not at all like bacon and pancetta was probably the word they were looking for. these people know nothing about there ham products